The Right to Die

This might seem like a morbid kind of post, but I thinks it’s a compelling and sometimes polarizing topic, so here goes! A couple of weeks ago Gov. Jerry Brown signed a bill that makes it legal for physicians to prescribe life-ending drugs to terminally ill patients. There’s been an ongoing debate on the issue for years, but it was recently brought to the forefront this past year primarily because Brittany Maynard, a young California resident, moved her family to Oregon in order to “die with dignity” as she eloquently put it.

I don’t pretend to know how agonizing her decision was and how hard it must have been to move to another state in order to live her final months the way she chose, but I can say that I’m pretty sure I’d do the same thing given the situation. Ever since Dr. Jack Kevorkian started the conversation on “right to die” back in the late 80’s, I’ve always thought it made sense. Yes, some people will see it as a form of suicide or are against it for religious or moral reasons, and everyone has a right to their opinion, but until you are suffering as Brittany did and walk in her shoes I don’t think it’s right to judge. I guess you can say that of many situations in life, but this one seems to spark a heated debate and sometimes tear families apart. I think the key component in this bill is that the person must be terminally ill. You can’t just go to your doctor and request a bunch of pills. There are steps to go through in order to leave this world in a more humane way. I think most people would agree that you always have to go for a second and third opinion on your specific diagnosis and do whatever you can to fight a good fight, but, in the end I’d rather die on my own terms, with my mind intact and able to express the love and gratitude I have for my family and friends, instead of them watching a slow decline in my health. When my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer it had already metastasized to his bones and other vital organs. He passed away four months after his diagnosis, but it was not fun watching his decline and I’m thinking that if this bill had been in place he may have chosen this option. He always said he lived a great life, was a grateful person and he seemed brave, knowing that he didn’t have much time left on earth, but I would think it was scary knowing that you’ll be in pain for those four months. I’ve heard horror stories of families going through their life savings, and going into debt, in order to prolong an elderly person’s life who might otherwise, when they were healthy, not have wanted this and all because a doctor couldn’t grant a final wish of death with dignity. I, for one, am glad that doctors can add this option to the conversation with their patients.

Okay…this hasn’t been a very uplifting topic, but I’ve been thinking about it since hearing of Brittany’s dilemma, discussions with friends on the subject, and the subsequent passing of this bill and I felt the need to put it in writing. The bill won’t go into effect until 2016, so there will be more discussion on the topic to be sure.

I think I need to go exercise now in an effort to stave off the above decision for a very long time.

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Wedded Bliss…Part 2

FB_IMG_1444716268832
photo credit..Jillian Bennett

As I relive this past week’s events I just have to smile (…and sometimes cry with joy!)…..the arrival of Austin & Kate, the bachelor & bachelorette parties, the set-up, the rehearsal, the wedding, the tear-down, the pancake breakfast and finally pizza Monday. Having a full house was so much fun! It was exciting, exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. The build up to the big day seemed to go on forever, but when the week finally arrived it was a whirlwind of activity. The feeling of warmth, fun and love transcended all my expectations…and I think that of the bride and groom. My legs and feet are still sore from all that dancing! There’s nothing like spending an evening of love with family and friends, new and old, to know how lucky we all are to have each other. The smile that beamed from Taylor and Dan’s faces was priceless and a memory I will cherish.

So, without further ado, check out this awesome video by my daughter-in-law, Kate, that thoroughly captures the weekend festivities! …and here are some pics too! (Photo credits to Jillian Bennett and Kelly Hughes)

IMAG5426

the wedding and reception across the street from each other.
No, Amy, that isn’t an either/or choice.

IMAG5430

rehearsal dinner

DSC_0050

bridal party antics

DSC_0242

the new Mr. and Mrs #callmecollery

IMAG5442

best MOH…okay, it’s not a great pic, but you can feel the joy in their faces

DSC_0009

the calm before the partay-tay

DSC_0395

this is love and happiness

DSC_0431

whip and na-na

IMAG5450

Sunday…before leaving for their mini-moon

Again, it takes a village and I can’t thank my friends, family and neighbors for making this day happen. Love to all of you!

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Wedding Excitement and Thank yous!

d

The excitement is building for the wedding this weekend of my daughter, Taylor, to her beloved, Dan. My son, Austin, and daughter-in-law, Kate arrived yesterday (I’m writing this on Thursday) and my heart is as full as my nest. The feeling of having all four of them back in the home Austin & Taylor grew up in has made me teary many times today.

IMAG5417

There will be countless runs to the airport in the next few days as family and friends arrive from near and far. It takes a village to plan and implement a backyard wedding. From the easier tasks of ordering food from a caterer and music from a dj…to the more laborious task of hanging a million lights from trees in the neighbors backyard it’s been so much fun, sometimes emotional, but always with a vision in mind that Taylor & Dan imagined over a year ago. The amount of help from my family, neighbors and girlfriends has been nothing short of AWESOME…so, instead of making a really long speech at the wedding, I feel the need to thank them here….

  • To the Stahovich and Hughes families for all the prep work they’ve done and opening up your homes for the wedding…AMAZING!
  • To Mariellen for her expert home decorating to get my house ready for everyone’s arrival
  • To Tom for becoming a minister years ago and performing the wedding ceremonies of both my children
  • To Ann for her GORGEOUS & creative flower arranging skills for both weddings
  • To Jan, Mariellen, Sharon, Joanne, Maggie and Clare for your pre-wedding help and many errand runs
  • To Courtney, Mimi, Jerry, Sandi and Patty for tables, chairs, ironing, appetizer prep and un-ending support…and Darci and Denise for props
  • To Sharon T. for “getting her J-Lo on” and coordinating everything for the big day
  • To Monica for listening to every detail of both weddings and putting up with me day in and day out
  • To the Collery family for hosting the rehearsal dinner
  • To Clare & the Raab girls for two fabulous showers
  • To the was-band for hours spent hanging a million lights and preparing the backyard as Taylor & Dan had envisioned
  • To my amazing neighbors who let me beg, borrow and steal to make this day happen
  • …and anyone I’m forgetting :/
  • …and lastly, to my two children, Austin & Taylor and my two new children, Kate and Dan…thanks for being so damn fun, organized and making the past year a magical one!!

mobIMAG3757

IMAG2893

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

FABULOUS FRIDAY….Stir-Fried Chicken with Colorful Peppers

This is one of my favorite go-to recipes and something I make quite often. My daughter is not a big fan of “spicy” so you can temper the cayenne to suit your taste. Enjoy!

IMAG5381

assemble your ingredients (wine, chicken & cayenne not pictured)
notice the background…9 days until “i do”

1 TB white wine
2 TB soy sauce
1 small egg white
2 TB cornstarch
1 lb chicken meat (I use boneless, skinless breast meat) cubes or sliced into small pieces (I like to cut it very thin on an angle so it cooks quickly and looks a little nicer

1 TB red wine vinegar
1 tsp salt
1 TB sugar
2 tsp sesame oil

vegetable oil
2 garlic cloves, minced (I usually use more ’cause I love garlic!)
2 tsp cayenne pepper (or you can use 2 fresh chili peppers…& up the heat a bit more)
2 bell peppers seeded and cut into 1 inch pieces—I like to use the red, orange or yellow cause they’re a nice contrast to the chicken and brighten up the dish.

IMAG5385

Mix together wine, soy, egg white and cornstarch in a bowl—add chicken and turn to coat well. Marinate for at least 3 minutes. Mix together vinegar, salt, sugar and sesame oil in a small bowl.

IMAG5386

everything chopped and ready to go

Heat oil in wok—add the garlic & cayenne and stir fry for about a minute or so, but not too long…the garlic can burn and get bitter. Add chicken. Stir fry until the chicken is golden brown, then add bell peppers, stir fry a bit more to soften and then finally add the vinegar/sugar mixture. The vinegar/sugar mixture, in addition to adding a yummy extra layer to the dish, gives the dish a nice sheen. Stir fry until sauce thickens and is bubbly.

IMAG5388

IMAG5384

This is my favorite kitchen appliance! I got it in Chinatown when I lived in SF….before 1984 (along with the wok and Chinese cookbook pictured). It’s got a few dents but works like a charm. 1 cup rice to 2 cups water or chicken broth, plug in and push the bottom. Flawless rice every time!

IMAG5391Chardonnay pares nicely with spicy food!

ÕÉâÕÑ¢
(this is the equivalent of Bon-Appetit in Chinese)

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Bucket List

bucket

“some people my age make a “bucket list…I just change the “b” to an”f”…Jerry Seinfeld

I haven’t ever really “compiled” a written bucket list per se, but I’ve always had certain events or places that I wanted to experience. So, no time like the present, as I approach my 55th birthday, to put pen to paper and actually put together an actual list to check off as I achieve these mini-goals. To be honest, most of the items on the list are just places I really want to go, more like a travel list, but it’s a bucket list nonetheless. In compiling said list I realized, as I have in the past, that almost every one of them is an experience and not a “thing” because I couldn’t ask for any more “things” in my life. I truly have everything I need…a happy, healthy family, with two wonderful additions this year, and amazing friends to share this life with and although I’m open to that significant other in my future (just putting it out there my friends!) it will only enhance the joy that already lies within me. So, without further adieu, my bucket list, circa 2015….

1. Meditteranean Cruise with the immediate family…yay! going next May!

2. Fall colors cruise down the Eastern seaboard…specifically Maine, Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland

3. Japan…the culture, the sushi!

4. Loire Valley, Southern France….specifically this Castles and Foodies Tour.

5. Some places in the U.S I’d still like to see….Austin, TX; New Orleans, LA; Boise (yes, Lola/Sars I’m visiting at some point!); Charleston, SC & Savannah, GA in the same trip; Miraval Spa in Tucson, AZ; Maine (maybe on that fall foliage cruise?); Wendy & Rob’s newest addition in WI ….I’m sure there are others.

6. Seeing Tom Brady play live… (yay!..going in December…birthday gift to me, the Dec 27th game against the Jets since it may be his last year..what with deflate-gate, non-suspensions and his age!)

7. Be a coxswain for an 8+ boat at the Head of the Charles regatta…and also attend the Royal Henley Regatta in England.

8. See the Underwater Museum in Cancun

9. Fly to Vancouver or Seattle, rent a car and drive down Hwy 101 along the west coast back home…stopping at the adorable Boardwalk Cottages, among many other coastal locales!

10. Lighthouse keeper for a night or week at Rose Island Lighthouse in Rhode Island (with that S.O.?) and/or a weekend at the Point Arena Lighthouse up near Mendocino, CA (they’re 3/bed cottages…road trip anyone!!)

11. Attend the writer’s festival and other fun/interesting Irish events at the Gaelic College in Nova Scotia. Although I could just attend one of the local Irish fairs or festivals here in SoCal!

12. Invite people to communal table dinner parties in my home for non-profits that I’m passionate about. I love to entertain and am passionate about volunteering (which I’ve missed and been out of touch with of late), so why not organize and do both at once.

13. Attend an EatWith dinner in LA and/or NYC.

14. Attend Redhead Days in the Netherlands (1.5 hrs from Amsterdam) or U.K. (missed the one this past weekend) and/or Gingers/The Gathering in the U.K. (there was supposed to be a Ginger Pride Festival in SF in 2016, but it may not get off the ground?)

15. Some European cities I’d like to get to….Barcelona…and Madrid while I’m in the area, Vienna, Lake Cuomo ! …or maybe just live in Europe for six months and go everywhere!

16. The Food and Wine Classic in Aspen, NYC Wine & Food Festival and/or Taste of Paris.

17. Take part in a Daybreaker dancing event!…..NYC, LA, SF or Paris?

18. Attend Pillow Fight Day…I may have to be an organizer for OC…looks like it’s April 2nd next year?…but not this kind of pillow fight..seriously?…yikes!

19. See the Northern Lights in either, Norway, Denmark, Iceland or Finland

20. Volunteer abroad program…this is just one of many to choose from!

….and the places I want to go back to…visit my friend Gina and her family in Ireland (might need to attend this, Gina recommended, festival?), Amsterdam, Vancouver, SF, any cottage or cabin near water, and an un-ending list of restaurants in NYC (La Boite en Bois, The Ugly Kitchen, Dirty French etc…. ) and LA (Petit Trois, Osso, Bestia, etc…)

(I did have “swim with dolphins” on my list because I just love them, but then I read this!)

What’s on your bucket list? Maybe I’ll steal some of your fabulous, creative, fun ideas!

…and a happy birthday to the adorable one in the middle…my son!

IMAG2868

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Motivational Monday…Within

IMAG5316Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love….you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer….Eckhart Tolle

I’m really enjoying reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle…more info & review when I’m finished…it’s some deep shit!

….and happy birthday to the guy in the middle here…my almost son-in-law

cropped

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!